I was awe-struck by the gentleness, kindness, true humanity, and love.
05 Dec 2004
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Reflections by Adair Ruff of First United Methodist Church of Germantown |
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Beth reached out to her accusers, judgers and sentencers
05 Dec 2004
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Reflection by George Herold of First United Methodist Church of Germantown |
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This was a teaching moment for many of us.
05 Dec 2004
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Hearing the prediction of heavy rain, and "flood warnings" I was uneasy about going over to Pottstown before around noon, when the rain was predicted to let up.
So I left home at around 9, and ended up getting there around 10:30. I joined the vigilers, who were singing, and included people from Soulforce and other groups. Several people told me of having been very wet earlier on.
Kathy Stayton of our local group had been steadfast in getting there very early and handling our banners, etc. We also saw Sue Schantz' beautiful Soulforce Philadelphia banner with all the rainbows.
At around noon we broke for lunch, and I went over and checked into my motel. Then I came back around 1 and found that everyone had decided to go into the trial rather than vigiling outside as we had previously spoken of.
I did not have an "Observer badge" so I stood in the lobby and put my name on the waiting list. Rainbows were everywhere and it was apparent that 99% of those attending the trial were supporters of Beth. I was starting to feel impatient, but then I started to notice a woman from FUMCOG
(Beth's congregation) making paper peace cranes. She went through the steps with me, walking me through making my first ever paper crane. Just as I finished, they called my name for my observer badge. I promised to leave the crane inside the boundaries of the Nevada Test Site, where I will be walking in March as part of an annual Interfaith Peace Walk.
I went inside and we listened to the trial, which had just started: Beth entered a plea of not guilty.
The prosecution started: None of the prosecution of whom had anything but praise for Beth, and Beth's ministry. It was hard to detect that this was the prosecution. The theme seemed to be: yes she is a great minister and a wonderful person but the rules say that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching.
I wondered what Christian teaching they were talking about since Jesus had said nothing about homosexuality, but had instead said a lot about loving one's neighbor and other positive practices that Beth was apparently engaging in in many ways? Then they mentioned the Methodist Book of Discipline, which contains this rule against homosexuality. Beth had had, in her counseling session prior to the decision to go to trial: three choices: either be celibate (i.e. send away her partner and never love anyone else) or else stop being ordained: be a lay person (she didn't want to give up her ordained ministry as that was an essential part of her identity) or be a minister in some more welcoming denomination (she is Methodist by birth: it is part of her identity and is her home: it's like asking someone if they want to stop, say, being of Irish descent and become Italian instead?
That evening we met and discussed plans to enfold Beth with a circle of love and song at the conclusion of the trial. This seemed to be a way of expressing, in the event of a guilty verdict and penalty, love and positive feelings, but yet to show our noncompliance with the verdict in a gentle way.
The next day, we heard the defense. Apparently they only were allowed to call 2 witnesses: there had been many more which they were not allowed to call, as these would have discussed issues of the church Constitution and the rule about homosexuality being incompatible with this. Their witnesses also spoke of how inspiring and great Beth's ministry was and how she was an excellent minister with a strong call to ordained ministry.
Both sides summed up.
The court charged the jury, reminding them that jurors were required to uphold the Book of Discripline: "even if it interfered with their conscience". Apparently some prospective jurors had refused to serve, stating the above rule violated their conscience, so the ones remaining were those who would uphold the rule.
While the jury was out there was a wonderful communion service in another building in which we prayed for healing and for support for Beth. Kathy Stayton of Soulforce Philadelphia was one of those officiating and she did an excellent job.
Then we went in and heard the verdict.
Even though we expected the guilty verdict, many people were in a state of shock: like if someone had died. I heard some people crying.
The penalty phase took a few hours: it was our impression that the jury was struggling with it. they had three alternatives: one, to expell Beth from the Methodist denomination altogether (i.e. ex-communication): the prosecution had NOT requested that and it was obvious that would not be done. The second was withdrawal of her ordination. That was what the prosecution was asking.
The third was to be under some kind of supervision but not withdraw her ordination. The judge reminded the jury: that they were NOT ruling on Beth's calling. And she would remain called to ministry and that wouldn't change: they were just ruling on her official ordination.
The court official said that FUMCOG had asked permission to be allowed to stand when the penalty verdict came in, and that we would all be granted that privilege by the court.
Previously several people had stood in support for Beth, and one was asked to either sit down, or leave: she chose to leave.
At around 5:15 the jury came in and the verdict was that Beth would be stripped of her ordination. She had expected it but you could tell the impact of the actual announcement on her and her loved ones.
As soon as the verdict was over, as we had planned we started umming "We are a gentle angry people, and we are singing for our lives": just humming so as to not disrupt the closing instructions of the judge and his closing prayer.
We had however previously agreed that if we were asked by the court to be silent: we would NOT be silent; we would not be disruptive, however we were not willing to be silent. The judge, in closing the trial, spoke of Beth's courage and integrity and praised these. You can tell he respected her greatly.
Then when he announced that "this concludes these trial proceedings", and as people started leaving, as we had planned we joined hands and made a big circle around the courtroom and especially around Beth, and started singing the Holly Near song "We are a Gentle Angry People": We stood there for around 10 to 15 minutes sending loving energy to Beth, and to everyone on both sides. As Beth had strongly requested that her trial not be an occasion of civil disobedience or disruption, this was not a demonstration but a prayerful moment of song.
I heard later that one juror joined our circle: was it the juror who voted "innocent?" One woman [Sue Laurie from Reconciling Ministries Network] stood at the microphone and made a closing prayer that spoke of the injustice of the trial and of support for Beth.
We left and walked out into the darkness: I felt this was very symbolic. Yet Beth shone light into the darkness.
In walking out, I was interviewed by Channel 17 (however as it turned out they didn't use that particular "sound byte") and stated that I was also a "self avowed lesbian in a long term committed relationship, and I love my partner very much, feel that if they can put Beth on trial, they can put any of us on trial, and that the trial was an act of violence against all LGBT people." I was asked whether there was anything positive coming out of it: and I said that I felt that it would show LGBT people, who were struggling with coming out, that a life of truth and honesty was possible.
What will it feel like for Beth especially this Sunday?
For me she will always be Reverend Stroud, and she has shown both the price of integrity and walking honestly one's walk, and the gifts of it, because nothing can take that truth away from her. I thought of the times I have been less than truthful with people and have failed to take risks, preferring safety. As Beth said, this was a teaching moment for many of us.
It was only a couple days later that I realized that what had happened reminded me of reading about how in Nazi Germany, before the more physical persecutions such as killing began, it started with Jews being ordered to leave organizations they belonged to, being stripped of medals and honors they had won, of credentials, of marriages between Jews and Christians being dissolved and other indignities: but the only one dishonored were the ones who perpetrated these actions. As a person from a Jewish family, that is one connotation that this trial had for me.
I will close by paraphrasing something which is I think either by Martin Luther King or Gandhi: that the universe has a curve and it is a curve toward justice: that it curves slowly and gradually, but it does bend toward justice. Change will come in time.
I am only now, two days later, starting to really feel/have it sink in what happened, and it feels very sad. But I also feel glad for Beth that she stood up for herself and was true to herself, although at a terrible price.
Laurie
co-leader
Soulforce Philadelphia |
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